








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




135 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12244 | 29% |
| Smokes | 15354 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 6544 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 8022 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,457,715 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1865 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Peter | 31 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Mesnil | 29 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | JLM | 26 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Nostro | 21 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | -SANTA-Julemanden | 10 | 0.0020 |





