








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1318 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1341 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,255 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Christo | 42% | 55 |
| #2 | ShikaLGZ | 38% | 53 |
| #3 | Snacc | 36% | 22 |
| #4 | Lucas | 28% | 43 |
| #5 | InspectahDast ⛟ (UC) | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ShikaLGZ | 38% | 53 |
| #3 | Snacc | 36% | 22 |
| #4 | Lucas | 28% | 43 |
| #5 | InspectahDast ⛟ (UC) | 27% | 11 |
| #6 | waves | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucas | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Christo | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | waves | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | ShikaLGZ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Snacc | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucas | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Snacc | 64 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ShikaLGZ | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Christo | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | waves | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slyz | +1.14 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | Lucas | +0.98 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | InspectahDast ⛟ (UC) | +0.07 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | ShikaLGZ | -0.72 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | Christo | -1.08 | 66 | 46 |





