








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1002 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1587 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 576 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1052 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,088 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jrd | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | WP FREEEEEEETYYYY | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | waves | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Christo | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | ShikaLGZ | 38% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | waves | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Christo | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | ShikaLGZ | 38% | 90 |
| #6 | Snacc | 35% | 51 |
| #7 | Slyz | 28% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShikaLGZ | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Snacc | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | waves | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | WP FREEEEEEETYYYY | 2 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | Slyz | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snacc | 167 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Slyz | 137 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | ShikaLGZ | 119 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | waves | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Christo | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucas | +1.31 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | waves | +0.48 | 79 | 31 |
| #3 | Slyz | +0.27 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Jrd | -0.11 | 38 | 55 |
| #5 | ShikaLGZ | -0.38 | 61 | 43 |





