








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 28% |
| Smokes | 967 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 446 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 550 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,440 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | che =DDD | 94% | 17 |
| #2 | louiee | 92% | 13 |
| #3 | [PBS] Fappy | 82% | 11 |
| #4 | Resident Sleeper | 80% | 30 |
| #5 | Shovel | 75% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Shovel | 75% | 20 |
| #6 | d-_-b | 69% | 13 |
| #7 | babbeh | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | violet 🜏 | 44% | 73 |
| #9 | why | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | violet 🜏 | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | che =DDD | 11 | 0.0396 |
| #3 | babbeh | 10 | 0.0265 |
| #4 | Shovel | 7 | 0.0290 |
| #5 | Resident Sleeper | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | violet 🜏 | 181 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | che =DDD | 61 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | babbeh | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Resident Sleeper | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shovel | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shovel | +11.49 | 100 | 46 |
| #2 | louiee | +8.83 | 99 | 38 |
| #3 | che =DDD | +5.36 | 96 | 54 |
| #4 | [PBS] Fappy | +3.50 | 88 | 9 |
| #5 | d-_-b | +3.15 | 99 | 25 |





