








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1281 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1773 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,098 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rellüM | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | LordChew | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | zenfox | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | HAGRID | 69% | 13 |
| #5 | Scratch | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Corby = free elf | 50% | 12 |
| #16 | Crynoore | 48% | 23 |
| #17 | NK | 45% | 11 |
| #18 | monsieur Cloudio | 44% | 16 |
| #19 | Nobody | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOOB | 6 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Sebi | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Femi | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Crynoore | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | P1ti-IWNL | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1ti-IWNL | 188 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Femi | 129 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | monsieur Cloudio | 90 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | NOOB | 88 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | rellüM | 78 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rellüM | +3.79 | 73 | 80 |
| #2 | ReY | +2.91 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | Sebi | +2.73 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | Scratch | +2.54 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Zera | +2.05 | 87 | 74 |





