








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2284 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2151 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3085 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,850 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justaplant#friduisafurry | 81% | 31 |
| #2 | xxyzz/A/ | 77% | 47 |
| #3 | aeasf | 73% | 74 |
| #4 | яємм | 73% | 122 |
| #5 | s1k | 72% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeasf | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | big CONK | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | яємм | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | s1k | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | xxyzz/A/ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1k | 549 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | big CONK | 546 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | яємм | 323 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | xxyzz/A/ | 256 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #5 | aeasf | 197 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1k | +3.45 | 91 | 73 |
| #2 | WPC | +3.24 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | яємм | +2.31 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | big CONK | +2.17 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | xxyzz/A/ | +1.60 | 66 | 67 |





