








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
75 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 25 | 23% |
| Smokes | 21 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 32 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 32 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,822 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fri Abdi | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Japansk Shuffi | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Dr. | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Japansk Shuffi | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Dr. | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | VitteN | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4-0 til Palle | 5 | 0.0276 |
| #2 | Japansk Shuffi | 3 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 3 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | Dr. | 1 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4-0 til Palle | 70 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #2 | Japansk Shuffi | 49 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | MENTAL_DAYZ | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dr. | 15 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fri Abdi | 10 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japansk Shuffi | +6.95 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | 4-0 til Palle | +3.12 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | VitteN | -0.95 | 32 | 41 |
| #4 | Fri Abdi | -1.72 | 54 | 60 |
| #5 | MENTAL_DAYZ | -3.10 | 56 | 27 |





