








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1016 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4358 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3888 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2755 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3352 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,082 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frip | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | yaankz | 70% | 37 |
| #3 | preliden | 70% | 33 |
| #4 | xuu | 69% | 189 |
| #5 | nopper | 69% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | preliden | 70% | 33 |
| #4 | xuu | 69% | 189 |
| #5 | nopper | 69% | 206 |
| #6 | ComputerGeeK* | 68% | 53 |
| #7 | ChipaaN | 61% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xuu | 28 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | nopper | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | yaankz | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | ComputerGeeK* | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | preliden | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nopper | 439 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | ChipaaN | 316 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | xuu | 255 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | ComputerGeeK* | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | preliden | 100 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | discplex | +3.11 | 93 | 66 |
| #2 | ComputerGeeK* | +3.10 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | yaankz | +2.07 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | nopper | +2.06 | 84 | 54 |
| #5 | Frip | +1.65 | 93 | 64 |





