










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,382 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6338 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6388 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4142 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2514 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,959 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rider | 74% | 39 |
| #2 | okkkooka | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Тайский Фейк | 54% | 196 |
| #4 | I know your mom`s name | 53% | 223 |
| #5 | Dpo3g | 52% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | 30 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | kabakok | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | I know your mom`s name | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Dpo3g | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Тайский Фейк | 8 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ТАЙСКИЙ ДИЛДА | 698 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | kabakok | 404 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | Тайский Фейк | 392 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | I know your mom`s name | 208 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dpo3g | 129 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | okkkooka | +2.65 | 53 | 56 |
| #2 | kabakok | +2.56 | 60 | 53 |
| #3 | 0wnz | +1.30 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | Тайский Фейк | +0.49 | 44 | 64 |
| #5 | Rider | +0.40 | 76 | 21 |





