








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9603 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7769 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7703 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9043 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,166,137 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 593 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tauts. | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | TireN | 51% | 177 |
| #3 | SassySusie (gamer) | 48% | 434 |
| #4 | larry | 45% | 226 |
| #5 | Kasvav1 | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TireN | 51% | 177 |
| #3 | SassySusie (gamer) | 48% | 434 |
| #4 | larry | 45% | 226 |
| #5 | Kasvav1 | 45% | 65 |
| #6 | DeLouLou | 45% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SassySusie (gamer) | 65 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | tauts. | 25 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | TireN | 24 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | DeLouLou | 20 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | larry | 11 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SassySusie (gamer) | 1530 | 0.17 | 37 min |
| #2 | tauts. | 565 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | DeLouLou | 386 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | TireN | 266 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kasvav1 | 199 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TireN | +3.62 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Kasvav1 | +1.27 | 55 | 63 |
| #3 | DeLouLou | +1.08 | 52 | 59 |
| #4 | tauts. | +0.95 | 74 | 72 |
| #5 | Dave on the dole | +0.46 | 69 | 71 |





