








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1747 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1655 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2464 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1976 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,209 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nFR | 59% | 135 |
| #2 | AmNeXiA | 56% | 128 |
| #3 | Inarek | 55% | 217 |
| #4 | PhymosisBirkenau | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | first random | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nFR | 59% | 135 |
| #2 | AmNeXiA | 56% | 128 |
| #3 | Inarek | 55% | 217 |
| #4 | PhymosisBirkenau | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | first random | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inarek | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | nFR | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | AmNeXiA | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | PhymosisBirkenau | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | first random | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nFR | 415 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Inarek | 391 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | AmNeXiA | 207 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | PhymosisBirkenau | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | first random | 45 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhymosisBirkenau | +3.27 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | nFR | +1.78 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | Skaralth | +1.30 | 71 | 69 |
| #4 | Inarek | +1.19 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | AmNeXiA | -2.32 | 54 | 64 |





