








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1610 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1925 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2367 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3254 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,330 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Hern1X | 53% | 176 |
| #3 | 6,7 kg penis A4PPX0 | 53% | 49 |
| #4 | uliGe | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | Ropsu | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mätäkki⚽ | 49% | 182 |
| #7 | Nipe | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Noname | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Ranu | 44% | 43 |
| #10 | GoofyZ | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hern1X | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Mätäkki⚽ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Nipe | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | GoofyZ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | uliGe | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mätäkki⚽ | 713 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | GoofyZ | 289 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hern1X | 284 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ropsu | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ranu | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ropsu | +2.72 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Noname | +1.62 | 77 | 75 |
| #3 | Hern1X | +1.22 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Joox1 | +0.71 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | Ranu | +0.38 | 60 | 56 |





