








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 846 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1010 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1158 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1241 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $387,297 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | uliGe | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | GoofyZ | 52% | 29 |
| #10 | Joox1 | 50% | 48 |
| #11 | Wiltzu | 47% | 17 |
| #12 | Mätäkki⚽ | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hern1X | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Noname | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Joox1 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | GoofyZ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Nipe | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoofyZ | 116 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hern1X | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Joox1 | 64 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mätäkki⚽ | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | JimboJones | 37 | 0.19 | 1 min |





