








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1301 | 36% |
| Smokes | 815 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 865 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 660 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,789 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 251 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GustaMarega Lord | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | Breaking Bread | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | .l. | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Ecozin | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | JUICE | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .l. | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Ecozin | 48% | 27 |
| #5 | JUICE | 48% | 42 |
| #6 | zff | 46% | 79 |
| #7 | Messi | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zff | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | JUICE | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Ecozin | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | GustaMarega Lord | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Messi | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zff | 313 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | JUICE | 120 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | GustaMarega Lord | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ecozin | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Messi | 40 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breaking Bread | +6.18 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | Ecozin | +2.37 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | zff | +2.21 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | .l. | -0.64 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | Reaper | -1.05 | 71 | 59 |





