








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4359 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4259 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2781 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3844 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,846,146 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 685 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ SPOXY ✞ | 59% | 160 |
| #2 | V | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | GrubEater39 | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | skibidiXD | 54% | 380 |
| #5 | Slampers | 52% | 334 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mange_neeguus | 49% | 65 |
| #7 | ✡ FiggMaestro ✡ | 48% | 89 |
| #8 | Sveden | 47% | 93 |
| #9 | hoax | 43% | 116 |
| #10 | Mr. Charles | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skibidiXD | 69 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Slampers | 49 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | ✡ FiggMaestro ✡ | 28 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | hoax | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Sveden | 12 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slampers | 851 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | skibidiXD | 807 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | ✡ FiggMaestro ✡ | 359 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | hoax | 269 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sveden | 231 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpRaY | +5.48 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | skibidiXD | +1.35 | 79 | 43 |
| #3 | V | +1.14 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | ✞ SPOXY ✞ | -0.18 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | hoax | -0.30 | 64 | 49 |





