








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 40 | 6% |
| Smokes | 321 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 100 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,275 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toronto | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | Zykros | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | MustyNuts | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | OpTicOXx | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toronto | 52% | 66 |
| #2 | Zykros | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | MustyNuts | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | OpTicOXx | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zykros | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | MustyNuts | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Toronto | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | OpTicOXx | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zykros | 178 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Toronto | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | MustyNuts | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | OpTicOXx | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zykros | +1.07 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Toronto | +0.53 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | iber | +0.35 | 82 | 24 |
| #4 | OpTicOXx | -1.90 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | MustyNuts | -2.16 | 52 | 54 |





