








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1433 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 443 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 591 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,099,330 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Rogue | 56% | 112 |
| #2 | Biggus Dickus | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 49% | 164 |
| #4 | DeLouLou | 46% | 72 |
| #5 | Gurt from Greggs | 45% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Biggus Dickus | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 49% | 164 |
| #4 | DeLouLou | 46% | 72 |
| #5 | Gurt from Greggs | 45% | 149 |
| #6 | GingerGamerUK | 43% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Gurt from Greggs | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | GingerGamerUK | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | DeLouLou | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ✪ Rogue | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeLouLou | 182 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gurt from Greggs | 151 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 83 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ Rogue | 44 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Biggus Dickus | 37 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | +3.83 | 62 | 30 |
| #2 | DeLouLou | +1.18 | 49 | 64 |
| #3 | Fiveskin | -0.31 | 62 | 27 |
| #4 | Gurt from Greggs | -1.26 | 28 | 47 |
| #5 | ✪ Rogue | -1.81 | 38 | 41 |





