








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 441 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1525 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1332 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 359 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,124 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiveskin | 56% | 112 |
| #2 | GingerGamerUK | 49% | 132 |
| #3 | Gurt from Greggs | 49% | 179 |
| #4 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 48% | 185 |
| #5 | Biggus Dickus | 45% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiveskin | 56% | 112 |
| #2 | GingerGamerUK | 49% | 132 |
| #3 | Gurt from Greggs | 49% | 179 |
| #4 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 48% | 185 |
| #5 | Biggus Dickus | 45% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiveskin | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Gurt from Greggs | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | GingerGamerUK | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Biggus Dickus | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gurt from Greggs | 192 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Biggus Dickus | 95 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fiveskin | 79 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | 72 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | GingerGamerUK | 50 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | +4.67 | 63 | 25 |
| #2 | Fiveskin | +0.38 | 67 | 25 |
| #3 | GingerGamerUK | -1.03 | 52 | 36 |
| #4 | Gurt from Greggs | -1.05 | 27 | 48 |
| #5 | ✪ Rogue | -1.82 | 41 | 39 |





