








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 550 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1285 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1293 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,252 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voslaa | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Schmunion | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Fiveskin | 49% | 164 |
| #4 | DeLouLou | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | GingerGamerUK | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | GingerGamerUK | 49% | 150 |
| #6 | Gurt from Greggs | 49% | 241 |
| #7 | Biggus Dickus | 48% | 159 |
| #8 | ✪ Rogue | 48% | 185 |
| #9 | Dynamic | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fiveskin | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Gurt from Greggs | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✪ Rogue | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | GingerGamerUK | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Schmunion | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gurt from Greggs | 229 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | Fiveskin | 115 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Voslaa | 109 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | DeLouLou | 93 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Biggus Dickus | 90 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taiwanese Chocolate Bar | +3.72 | 62 | 26 |
| #2 | Voslaa | +1.48 | 67 | 35 |
| #3 | Schmunion | +1.11 | 56 | 30 |
| #4 | DeLouLou | +0.94 | 51 | 65 |
| #5 | Fiveskin | -0.24 | 64 | 28 |





