








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 787 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 632 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8397 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8130 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6549 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7844 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,254,393 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 998 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | runedson | 50% | 176 |
| #2 | dash | 48% | 205 |
| #3 | Semaie | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | RanD | 43% | 101 |
| #5 | President Kerm | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dash | 48% | 205 |
| #3 | Semaie | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | RanD | 43% | 101 |
| #5 | President Kerm | 42% | 71 |
| #6 | Starm | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dash | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | President Kerm | 16 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | runedson | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Semaie | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | RanD | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | runedson | 853 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | RanD | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | dash | 155 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | President Kerm | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Starm | 69 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | runedson | +3.62 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Semaie | +0.55 | 53 | 46 |
| #3 | ling ling | -0.03 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | President Kerm | -0.04 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | dash | -0.12 | 51 | 38 |





