








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5011 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9920 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7230 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 10275 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7695 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,356,290 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 823 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | YOUxKNOWxWHO | 36% | 114 |
| #14 | Mayhem ツ | 36% | 78 |
| #15 | sven26 | 35% | 40 |
| #16 | moth | 32% | 50 |
| #17 | Glenn | 30% | 71 |





