








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 783 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1093 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2605 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1837 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,508 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandwich | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | lärareN | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Emmsi | 71% | 28 |
| #4 | - Describe ☆ | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | enkeli | 61% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kronkius | 186 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Asian Banana | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mayhem ツ | 104 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Emmsi | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Glenn | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lärareN | +3.69 | 87 | 45 |
| #2 | Emmsi | +2.29 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | Sewer Mermaid | +1.78 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Asian Banana | +0.81 | 48 | 76 |
| #5 | Glenn | +0.76 | 64 | 46 |





