








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 705 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 532 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6797 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3429 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 8348 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3818 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,231,790 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 384 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 痛みのない素早い死 | 55% | 74 |
| #2 | E.T | 54% | 288 |
| #3 | Ekicks | 54% | 99 |
| #4 | G1 | 52% | 131 |
| #5 | Rutto | 51% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E.T | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | 痛みのない素早い死 | 17 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Doggo™ | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | G1 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Rutto | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G1 | 546 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | Rutto | 271 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ekicks | 259 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Doggo™ | 257 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | rontti | 222 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 痛みのない素早い死 | +4.69 | 92 | 41 |
| #2 | E.T | +2.64 | 88 | 43 |
| #3 | Rutto | +1.20 | 40 | 60 |
| #4 | G1 | +1.03 | 65 | 74 |
| #5 | Ekicks | +1.01 | 52 | 73 |





