








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2009 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1561 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1901 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,083 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZooGs | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | OgShu | 65% | 40 |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | elizabeth taylor wears these | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | L0vell | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | wrinkle | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | mage | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Eric Wagner | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | MannibalLecter | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | 609 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | mage | 474 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #3 | wrinkle | 287 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | OgShu | 141 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | L0vell | 129 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | +2.91 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | mage | +2.71 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | elizabeth taylor wears these | +1.47 | 56 | 70 |
| #4 | ZooGs | +1.29 | 48 | 67 |
| #5 | Dallas Dan | +1.17 | 84 | 57 |





