








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11545 | 27% |
| Smokes | 11480 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10868 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9313 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,483,710 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicko | 68% | 80 |
| #2 | L0vell | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | El Bean Bird | 60% | 105 |
| #4 | OgShu | 52% | 122 |
| #5 | Dallas Dan | 51% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrinkle | 12 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | sicko | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | mage | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ZooGs | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mage | 726 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #2 | wrinkle | 620 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 497 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | ZooGs | 417 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | Dallas Dan | 380 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | +2.95 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | mage | +2.65 | 89 | 69 |
| #3 | El Bean Bird | +2.61 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | sicko | +2.06 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | L0vell | +1.39 | 69 | 64 |





