








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1188 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2432 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1471 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 698 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,235 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Starvin' Marvin | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Kaban | 48% | 241 |
| #3 | Edv | 45% | 97 |
| #4 | lkservantes07 | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | zLimer | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kaban | 48% | 241 |
| #3 | Edv | 45% | 97 |
| #4 | lkservantes07 | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | zLimer | 34% | 32 |
| #6 | Semiras | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaban | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Edv | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | lkservantes07 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaban | 651 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | lkservantes07 | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Edv | 71 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Semiras | 41 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Starvin' Marvin | 36 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XOsuperlif5 | +3.40 | 81 | 50 |
| #2 | Starvin' Marvin | +0.07 | 75 | 45 |
| #3 | Semiras | -0.16 | 25 | 52 |
| #4 | Edv | -0.71 | 29 | 45 |
| #5 | Kaban | -0.79 | 32 | 66 |





