








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5754 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8925 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8206 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6585 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3814 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,818 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XOsuperlif5 | 55% | 76 |
| #2 | XOsuperlif5 | 48% | 241 |
| #3 | Semiras | 47% | 249 |
| #4 | Edv | 44% | 270 |
| #5 | Starvin' Marvin | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XOsuperlif5 | 22 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Edv | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | lkservantes07 | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | XOsuperlif5 | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Semiras | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lkservantes07 | 361 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Semiras | 333 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | XOsuperlif5 | 298 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Edv | 180 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Starvin' Marvin | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XOsuperlif5 | +4.44 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | XOsuperlif5 | +3.41 | 81 | 48 |
| #3 | Semiras | +1.38 | 33 | 56 |
| #4 | Starvin' Marvin | +1.33 | 73 | 46 |
| #5 | Kaban | +0.55 | 36 | 67 |





