










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1742 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1254 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2872 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,576,808 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XOsuperlif5 | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Starvin' Marvin | 43% | 74 |
| #3 | Semiras | 39% | 115 |
| #4 | Kaban | 38% | 268 |
| #5 | XOsuperlif5 | 38% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaban | 30 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Semiras | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | XOsuperlif5 | 5 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Starvin' Marvin | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Edv | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaban | 872 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Semiras | 139 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Starvin' Marvin | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Edv | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | XOsuperlif5 | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XOsuperlif5 | +6.20 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | XOsuperlif5 | +5.04 | 84 | 45 |
| #3 | Semiras | +2.59 | 33 | 54 |
| #4 | Kaban | +2.42 | 39 | 68 |
| #5 | Edv | +1.95 | 29 | 46 |





