










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2392 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2770 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1420 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2102 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,466 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX | Absolute Unit | 54% | 301 |
| #2 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Rat | 51% | 142 |
| #4 | Felix "Noodles" Lotionstein | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | WAX | Bread | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX | Absolute Unit | 54% | 301 |
| #2 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Rat | 51% | 142 |
| #4 | Felix "Noodles" Lotionstein | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | WAX | Bread | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX | Absolute Unit | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | WAX | Bread | 6 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Rat | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Felix "Noodles" Lotionstein | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAX | Absolute Unit | 612 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Felix "Noodles" Lotionstein | 163 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | WAX | GreaterNorway | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rat | 40 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | WAX | Bread | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kirby | +2.57 | 66 | 56 |
| #2 | WAX | Absolute Unit | +0.24 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | Felix "Noodles" Lotionstein | -0.43 | 32 | 65 |
| #4 | WAX | GreaterNorway | -1.09 | 54 | 30 |
| #5 | Rat | -2.53 | 68 | 28 |





