








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 880 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,582 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9324 | 22% |
| Smokes | 12066 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 12098 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8463 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,475,509 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crusa | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | Lost_Kidney | 52% | 126 |
| #3 | Ato | 51% | 168 |
| #4 | jyrkitor | 50% | 243 |
| #5 | ~TeamSkoda~ [Jussi Halla-Aho] | 48% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zaz88 | 45% | 98 |
| #9 | Tukezu | 43% | 67 |
| #10 | ♿ | 39% | 66 |
| #11 | Cubens!x | 38% | 77 |
| #12 | KeIjOrAiMo | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakeuzz | 22 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | jyrkitor | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ~TeamSkoda~ [Jussi Halla-Aho] | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Bruce Silvio | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Lost_Kidney | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bruce Silvio | 714 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | jyrkitor | 588 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | Sakeuzz | 572 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | Lost_Kidney | 491 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #5 | Ato | 423 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ | +4.03 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Crusa | +2.46 | 53 | 72 |
| #3 | Lost_Kidney | +1.63 | 71 | 81 |
| #4 | Cubens!x | +1.49 | 63 | 69 |
| #5 | Sakeuzz | +0.95 | 56 | 60 |





