








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2407 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1915 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2598 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1749 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,512 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reacher | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | cgar | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | fella | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | ketoky friechik | 50% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | fella | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | ketoky friechik | 50% | 108 |
| #6 | Jaw | 45% | 44 |
| #7 | endlesscashflow | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cgar | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | ketoky friechik | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | fella | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Jaw | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fella | 232 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | ketoky friechik | 170 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Prestone® Antifreeze | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | cgar | 43 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jaw | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ketoky friechik | +1.59 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | Reacher | +1.54 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | fella | +1.31 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | cgar | +0.09 | 77 | 42 |
| #5 | fukyoumean!!!! | -0.13 | 71 | 64 |





