








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2271 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3544 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2017 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $706,484 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her elo terrorist | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Pooni | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | Puribi | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Ascinei | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | MUTE | 48% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ascinei | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | MUTE | 48% | 100 |
| #6 | Bicdicbob | 47% | 30 |
| #7 | Lee Min-hyeong | 43% | 60 |
| #8 | Apple | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pooni | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | MUTE | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | her elo terrorist | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Bicdicbob | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Lee Min-hyeong | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUTE | 169 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | her elo terrorist | 160 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pooni | 154 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Puribi | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ascinei | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ascinei | +2.56 | 89 | 45 |
| #2 | Mango | +1.65 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Pooni | +1.40 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Lee Min-hyeong | -0.17 | 75 | 28 |
| #5 | MUTE | -0.58 | 74 | 60 |





