








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 985 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1616 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,151,279 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ascinei | 56% | 97 |
| #2 | LancerrR | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Lee Min-hyeong | 49% | 89 |
| #4 | Apple | 49% | 112 |
| #5 | her elo terrorist | 48% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | her elo terrorist | 48% | 97 |
| #6 | Mango | 48% | 100 |
| #7 | Pooni | 48% | 73 |
| #8 | Puribi | 43% | 65 |
| #9 | Bicdicbob | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apple | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Pooni | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Lee Min-hyeong | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Ascinei | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | her elo terrorist | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mango | 357 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | her elo terrorist | 331 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Puribi | 241 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ascinei | 220 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pooni | 209 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ascinei | +4.03 | 89 | 46 |
| #2 | Pooni | +1.83 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Mango | +1.45 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | MUTE | -0.01 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Lee Min-hyeong | -0.57 | 73 | 32 |





