








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1947 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2753 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2441 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2368 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,692,769 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buren | 48 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Teddare | 30 | 0.0371 |
| #3 | AXXV | 16 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Galileo | 13 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Molle | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buren | 627 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | AXXV | 480 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Galileo | 196 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Molle | 182 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Arne (K) | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |





