








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,842 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8440 | 43% |
| Smokes | 4849 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3487 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3066 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,287,472 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GOLIATH DEMON WARLORD | 68% | 66 |
| #2 | yessir | 61% | 80 |
| #3 | lolipiss | 61% | 84 |
| #4 | brother ron | 60% | 81 |
| #5 | Bongwater Brian | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongwater Brian | +2.73 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | lolipiss | +2.04 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Sharp | +1.04 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Lillibilli | +0.89 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | brother ron | +0.28 | 75 | 60 |





