








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2582 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1256 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 194 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,735 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | popododer | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | mRn | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Fiona | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Y0uM0mD0g | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | rohen | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | M4rc | 47% | 77 |
| #11 | cr4M | 46% | 67 |
| #12 | Churros | 45% | 38 |
| #13 | Naud | 31% | 13 |
| #14 | FlueDo- | 25% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4M | 25 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | Sem.exe | 9 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | M4rc | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Henlo | 7 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Churros | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4M | 250 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | M4rc | 236 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Churros | 122 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Y0uM0mD0g | 117 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sem.exe | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | un1nstall | +6.59 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | cr4M | +4.08 | 86 | 46 |
| #3 | popododer | +3.54 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | Fiona | +3.08 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | Henlo | +1.84 | 69 | 31 |





