










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 45% |
| Smokes | 232 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1239 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 282 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,691 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-MAN | 59% | 96 |
| #2 | CreeperBeanieâ„¢ | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | WhitezHD_ | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Keith | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-MAN | 59% | 96 |
| #2 | CreeperBeanieâ„¢ | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | WhitezHD_ | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | Keith | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-MAN | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | WhitezHD_ | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | CreeperBeanieâ„¢ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-MAN | 303 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | WhitezHD_ | 63 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | CreeperBeanieâ„¢ | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Keith | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreeperBeanieâ„¢ | +3.77 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | 1.5 broken wrists | +3.57 | 69 | 45 |
| #3 | G-MAN | +0.81 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | WhitezHD_ | -1.42 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Keith | -3.14 | 37 | 51 |





