








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 791 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4057 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6144 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4848 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5296 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $949,604 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superfreak | 59% | 56 |
| #2 | ordeP | 59% | 68 |
| #3 | Kryþ†εhKπ¡gh† | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | Craw- | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | heron | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ordeP | 59% | 68 |
| #3 | Kryþ†εhKπ¡gh† | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | Craw- | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | heron | 51% | 53 |
| #6 | Foisen ,⌒,▪ ლ(╹◡╹ლ) | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryþ†εhKπ¡gh† | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Craw- | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ordeP | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | heron | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Superfreak | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryþ†εhKπ¡gh† | 926 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | Craw- | 498 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | ordeP | 415 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #4 | Superfreak | 187 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | heron | 127 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryþ†εhKπ¡gh† | +2.14 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | Foisen ,⌒,▪ ლ(╹◡╹ლ) | +1.63 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | Superfreak | +1.57 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | DutchMaster | +0.92 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | ordeP | +0.52 | 58 | 74 |





