








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5311 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3734 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2942 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2230 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,013 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superfreak | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | ordeP | 61% | 74 |
| #3 | DutchMaster | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | heron | 56% | 52 |
| #5 | Craw- | 55% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ordeP | 61% | 74 |
| #3 | DutchMaster | 58% | 162 |
| #4 | heron | 56% | 52 |
| #5 | Craw- | 55% | 115 |
| #6 | Foisen ,⌒,▪ ლ(╹◡╹ლ) | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DutchMaster | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Craw- | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ordeP | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | heron | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Superfreak | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craw- | 604 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #2 | ordeP | 425 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | DutchMaster | 273 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Superfreak | 205 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | heron | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kryþ†εhKπ¡gh† | +2.10 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Superfreak | +1.54 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | DutchMaster | +0.81 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | ordeP | +0.59 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | Foisen ,⌒,▪ ლ(╹◡╹ლ) | +0.24 | 59 | 48 |





