








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4857 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2311 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2841 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,040,347 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arky | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | NEGERkuss | 53% | 243 |
| #3 | imagine | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | PsychoHorse | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | ceep- | 48% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NEGERkuss | 53% | 243 |
| #3 | imagine | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | PsychoHorse | 49% | 80 |
| #5 | ceep- | 48% | 207 |
| #6 | ach4 | 39% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceep- | 32 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | NEGERkuss | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | PsychoHorse | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Arky | 9 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | imagine | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEGERkuss | 974 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | ceep- | 669 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | PsychoHorse | 282 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | imagine | 215 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | ach4 | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gtr | +1.34 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | ceep- | +0.99 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | NEGERkuss | -0.13 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Arky | -0.94 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | ach4 | -1.11 | 82 | 66 |





