








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4787 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2506 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2274 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,499 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | imagine | 59% | 46 |
| #2 | Zygzak McQueen | 54% | 80 |
| #3 | NEGERkuss | 50% | 106 |
| #4 | ceep- | 49% | 268 |
| #5 | gtr | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zygzak McQueen | 54% | 80 |
| #3 | NEGERkuss | 50% | 106 |
| #4 | ceep- | 49% | 268 |
| #5 | gtr | 49% | 80 |
| #6 | ach4 | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceep- | 33 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | gtr | 20 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Zygzak McQueen | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | NEGERkuss | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ach4 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceep- | 707 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | gtr | 477 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #3 | NEGERkuss | 432 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Zygzak McQueen | 205 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | imagine | 197 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceep- | +2.52 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | gtr | +1.76 | 90 | 70 |
| #3 | imagine | +0.03 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | NEGERkuss | -0.22 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | PsychoHorse | -0.70 | 77 | 63 |





