








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3816 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2569 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1219 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1897 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,306 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ach4 | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | PsychoHorse | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | NEGERkuss | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | ceep- | 54% | 95 |
| #5 | gtr | 52% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | NEGERkuss | 55% | 62 |
| #4 | ceep- | 54% | 95 |
| #5 | gtr | 52% | 52 |
| #6 | PuffPuffNoPass | 32% | 25 |
| #7 | Milliardenmike | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ceep- | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | gtr | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | PsychoHorse | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | NEGERkuss | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | PuffPuffNoPass | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEGERkuss | 295 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | ceep- | 283 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | gtr | 276 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | PsychoHorse | 182 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | PuffPuffNoPass | 113 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milliardenmike | +4.74 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | ceep- | +1.38 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | gtr | +1.18 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | ach4 | +1.14 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | NEGERkuss | +0.55 | 63 | 68 |





