








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1012 | 26% |
| Smokes | 797 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1101 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 973 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,747 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pablo | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Flynn | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Cady | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Nerbs | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | probably sweating | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flynn | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Nerbs | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Pablo | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Sossi | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Cady | 3 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flynn | 128 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | probably sweating | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nerbs | 76 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sossi | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cady | 70 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | probably sweating | +6.28 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Flynn | +6.10 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | Cady | +5.62 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | Pablo | -0.13 | 39 | 58 |
| #5 | Sleppy | -0.40 | 71 | 43 |





