








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 649 | 39% |
| Smokes | 429 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 354 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 219 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,626 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snoken | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Spongebob | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Bounty | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | Fisk | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | π»πΈπ | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spongebob | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Bounty | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | Fisk | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | π»πΈπ | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Mr.krabs | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bounty | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Fisk | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bounty | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Snoken | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spongebob | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fisk | 30 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | π»πΈπ | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spongebob | +3.82 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Bounty | +3.42 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | vezac | -0.62 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Snoken | -0.78 | 68 | 68 |
| #5 | Fisk | -1.30 | 72 | 45 |





