








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1795 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2972 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4402 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3604 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3445 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,451,224 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fisk | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | Bounty | 55% | 157 |
| #3 | R1gen | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Sivesind. | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | Alexey | 52% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.krabs | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Fisk | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Sivesind. | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Bounty | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | R1gen | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alexey | 345 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bounty | 317 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | R1gen | 198 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fisk | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sivesind. | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bounty | +4.13 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Alexey | +2.74 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | R1gen | +1.28 | 60 | 81 |
| #4 | π»πΈπ | +0.85 | 38 | 55 |
| #5 | glass uten vann | +0.58 | 66 | 55 |





