








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 969 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1005 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1047 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1299 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $143,050 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gorgi | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Ludvig Sjögren | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Strandberg | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Hitode | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Lavalele | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ogilS | 40% | 10 |
| #13 | G2 Alloyy | 33% | 12 |
| #14 | Psychedelic | 25% | 8 |
| #15 | Nanachi97 | 22% | 9 |
| #16 | autistic *rico veen* | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7IMO | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | G2 Alloyy | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Faisch | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | Hitode | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Psychedelic | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kawppa | 104 | 0.44 | 2 min |
| #2 | 7IMO | 56 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | slayd | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hitode | 50 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | ogilS | 41 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faisch | +4.27 | 67 | 58 |
| #2 | Ludvig Sjögren | +4.04 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Strandberg | +2.43 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | Lavalele | +2.37 | 43 | 64 |
| #5 | Nanachi97 | +1.40 | 88 | 29 |





