








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1960 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2565 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2883 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,718 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spetz | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | alkimist | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Winnie ❟❛❟ | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | Mighty_Elenka | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | [♛] 2JZ | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | 50 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | deNZy_- | 14 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | [♛] 2JZ | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Jammer_cs | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Mighty_Elenka | 9 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jammer_cs | 1343 | 0.24 | 38 min |
| #2 | Foxtrot | 703 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | Semi | Yung Aimer | 345 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | cRRoNoS* | 201 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | deNZy_- | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deNZy_- | +4.65 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | Mighty_Elenka | +4.37 | 90 | 44 |
| #3 | kriWchix- | +3.91 | 90 | 31 |
| #4 | Foxtrot | +2.64 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | Spetz | +1.82 | 83 | 47 |





