








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4370 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5116 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2242 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4329 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,214,417 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sloppy bill on the pill | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Jackplox | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | JqMarsh | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | Q-Baby | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | Floyda | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floyda | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | JqMarsh | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Q-Baby | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Jackplox | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | PriceWOO | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Numfa | +0.83 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Floyda | +0.47 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | Q-Baby | +0.41 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | steez | +0.14 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | JqMarsh | -0.18 | 69 | 62 |





