








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 883 | 24% |
| Smokes | 483 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1103 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1172 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,678 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0ppa | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Scoliosisboy | 52% | 87 |
| #3 | LumpyFag | 51% | 83 |
| #4 | Fuhgji | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | N0ckeby | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scoliosisboy | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | LumpyFag | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | N0ckeby | 5 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Puckulüs | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Fuhgji | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f0ppa | +6.03 | 74 | 34 |
| #2 | Scoliosisboy | +1.98 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | N0ckeby | +0.65 | 87 | 57 |
| #4 | LumpyFag | +0.63 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | Slask✪ | +0.17 | 73 | 51 |





