








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 257 matches | ||
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2850 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3706 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3699 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4177 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,738,219 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 694 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | IamTheCaptainNow | 55% | 42 |
| #7 | CSGOAvoid | 54% | 65 |
| #8 | ryantactics | 53% | 101 |
| #9 | hot dog | 50% | 28 |
| #10 | VICtos | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hot dog | 175 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | CSGOAvoid | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | IamTheCaptainNow | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | VICtos | 96 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | GenerousPoptart | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |





